In this video, I share stories from my own experience, observe that others have done similar things and encourage you to re-evaluate.
The scenario I want to present to you is really very simple – – Who owns you? Who is responsible for you? Who runs your ass? I'm using the term very specifically. Who owns your ass?
A lot of people will say, "Well, no one owns me!" However, when you watch them at work, the fact of the matter is, their manager owns them. It could When the manager says, "Jump," they go higher. They want to impress the boss or they want to make sure that when the next layoff comes they are not on the list.
I must and will honestly tell you that abdication of responsibility is a huge mistake and you give away your life. I know because I made this mistake for so many years it was ridiculous.
When I worked in recruiting, I had a manager and work closely with an owner and I jumped higher and higher every day. My blood pressure rose tremendously, had panic attacks regularly… There is never enough that I could do that could satisfy him. It didn't matter which firm I worked for; there was never enough that I could do.
Trust me, it feels very dissatisfying.
The emails kept coming in; the clients kept wanting more service. I was bombarded all the time and, eventually, my power was given away to my clients and to my manager and eventually had to stay, "Stop."
I don't think I'm unique in this regard. I think many people do this because we have been raised in a culture of fear. From the time that we are young we go to school and we get the message that school is a factory where you have to get good grades or else you won't get into a good college. You get to that college and have to get good grades or else you will get a good job. You have to perform well on the job or you will be fired.
Eventually, you get fired anyway and wonder, "What went wrong?"
I was speaking with someone recently who I coach… A terrific guy... He consults to them and get fired with 2 years left to go on his contract. Amazing! They're going to pay them for 2 years!
Many of us are so fearful of consequences that we stop living.
I just want to remind you that if you are operating from fear… There's something wrong there. You've got to look at this carefully and see what you can do to take ownership of your life and your career again.
There is no reason to live as I did for so long, fearful that, if you're in sales, that that one month where you don't perform means that it's time to panic because you're going to get fired.
I never got fired because I was a great producer but, every once in a while you hit a trough, because what happened previously effects what happens going forward. It happens. If management, doesn't understand, get the hell out of there! There is no reason to tolerate the abuse.
If you or someone who's afraid to take time off (as I've heard from somebody executive who miss their kid's events because they have to be somewhere and regret it),
There was a woman I was talking with you, my former headhunting life... She gave birth to twins and was back on the phone in 2 days managing programs for a client. When a client said, "we have a meeting in New York," a few days after her kids were born, she was commuting to New York 90 minutes each way to attend meetings. What's wrong with this picture??
There's a lot wrong with it. You may think it is right for you but, as you get older, you start to realize that there is something wrong with this set up. There is no room reason to put up with it.
I don't claim to have the perfect solution for everyone. If you're watching this video, I don't claim to know you but it is time to pause and re-examine your choices. Because it seems to me that all you are doing is chasing your tail.
Lord knows, I spent so many years chasing my tail… It is not worth it. Eventually, you wake up one day and ask yourself, "Is that all there is?" It feels very dissatisfiying.
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is an executive job search and leadership coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for JobSearchCoachingHQ.com and NoBSCoachingAdvice.com
Follow him at The Big Game Hunter, Inc. on LinkedIn for more articles, videos and podcasts than what are offered here and jobs he is recruiting for.
For more No BS Coaching Advice & encouragement, visit my website.