Have you ever lost it? I have it wasn’t a pretty picture. In this video, I talk about the importance of talking yourself down from the cliff and how you should never split the difference.
I wanted to talk with you today about the importance of keeping your wits about you, especially as you go into a negotiation.
I’m sure you realize that there have been times where you’ve lost your cool, gotten into arguments with people, and just felt like destroying them. Maybe you’ve done it with your wife, husband or partner, maybe with a coworker or friend, and you started dredging up things from your collective past and started throwing it in their face. You start making threats.
How did that work for you? Did you really think that you would get what you wanted?
The result that you’ve gotten is that you thrown a tantrum. You were a big baby in an adult body but you are still a baby.
If you’re trying to get your way in a negotiation with someone, if someone has said or done something that takes you off and you just lose it, I want to encourage you to just pull back a little bit and say, “I’m sorry. Something that you just said activated an old memory for me. Can we start this from scratch? I apologize.”
The reason is you’re just not going to win. All you’re going to do Is cause hatred and resentment. You’re not going to get your way.
That’s why it’s important to keep your wits about you and pulling back the reins at times.
You can even try to remember whose voice that is. Whose voices that that set you off? What’s the memory you have of the similar situation back in time?
If this is a negotiation where money is involved, unless you concede the point there, you will concede money in the negotiation. And if they throw their hands up in the air and say, “Okay. Let’s split the difference,” never ever split the difference because the person who is offering that is getting their way. They are trying to make you think that it is “fair,” And, frankly, it isn’t.
Again, pull yourself back from the abyss, that crazy moment, when you lose it. Get a hold of yourself. Never ever split the difference when you are negotiating.
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter has been coaching people to play their professional and personal games BIG for what seems like 100 years.