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dealing with curveballs

Dealing With Curveballs | No BS Coaching Advice


Life has a way of throwing curves at you. What should you do when it happens?

Summary

Life is this way of throwing curve balls at you. You know, you're going along with a great path when, suddenly, out of left field (another baseball metaphor), something gets thrown at you that you don't know how to deal with. What do you do?

It's very upsetting if you're looking at it from a business or personal standpoint. You discovered suddenly gotten hard. You didn't anticipate it. At times, you can even get scary.

Let me give you 2 choices.

The 1st 1 is to try to stay calm. That's sometimes easier said than done.

There is another alternative on the same theme. Go crazy in private. Get wild, frustrated and angry and that calm yourself down. Give yourself permission to let out your fear and anxiety in a private place or with someone you trust is not going to get caught up in your fear. What you're doing is finding a place to discharge.

Again, 2 choices. The 1st 1 is keep yourself calm. Number 2 is find a way to discharge it by yourself or with someone who you trust so that you can get the emotion out. Either way works.

Another way is to ask for some help. It's for advice about how to sort things out. You may not have all the answers. Statistics say most of you don't have all the answers. Many of you, because of your fear and anxiety, are going to be too scared to have any answer.

Start polling your friends and ask for opinions layout things in a factual way without any sort of judgment or opinion. Don't put any additional template on top of it. Just layout the data and what its effect on you will be.

Next, start focusing on solutions. Start looking at ways to solve the problem. You could try avoiding it but the problem isn't going to go away. Thus, your best of focusing on the solution and getting to the other side before it starts to run you too hard.

So, when dealing with a curveball, you 1st deal with the emotional component by staying calm or getting to a place with a person where you can go crazy. Next, start asking for advice. Then, number 3, focus on the solution.
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Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for JobSearchCoachingHQ.com and NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. He is the host of “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” “No BS Job Search Advice,” and “Job Search Radio.”

Are you interested in my coaching you?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

Subscribe to the “No BS Coaching Advice” podcast.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Follow The Big Game Hunter, Inc.

For more No BS Coaching Advice & encouragement, visit my website.

Changing Your Paralysis To Change

Changing Your Paralysis To Change

Everyone knows that making change is one of the scariest things we deal Changing Your Paralysis To Making a Changewith as adults. We recognize and acknowledge a need to make a life or professional change and then find it impossible to do anything about it.

Why does it become hard?

Conflicting Responsibilities. We have our current career. We have a family or trying to find someone to date or be in relationship with We want to have a little fun in life and, heck, there is that new series on (Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO, Hulu, etc.) and there is no time.

Fear. Change involves risk. As adults, we don’t often recognize fear. We couch in pop culture terms like “procrastination” or “anxiety” to disguise the very fact that we are afraid of doing something new.

Habit. Imagine driving a bus on a one lane dirt road. Every bus drives on the same path and the rut in the road becomes deeper and deeper as more buses travel in the rut. That’s what happens to many of us as we start to think of our lives and our careers. We are driving on the same rut as every other bus.

Changing Your Paralysis To Making a ChangeI Don’t Know How to Change. Closely coupled with “I don’t know how to change,” is “I have to figure it out by myself.” Add to this is “I don’t know where to start,” and you have a very powerful cocktail for inertia.

We Know How to Trick Ourselves.  I was working with a group recently and a man said something that sounded like he was changing his intentions for change after so passionately advocating for the very change the week before. I asked, “I’m confused. Does your fear tend to send up a signal of danger that causes you to change your plans?”

“Yes,” he said. “It’s probably the biggest way I trip myself up and stay in the same place.”

Changing Your Paralysis To Making a ChangeMy recent article on “Stuck:  Deciding Between Resignation, Perseverance and Acceptance in Your Career” struck a chord with many people about their feeling of ennui and frustration in the workplace. The interesting thing I heard from the LinkedIn messages I received was frustration—anger directed at oneself instead of at the party that should be the recipient.

The need to inhibit one’s responses is a well-learned condition for most employees. No one should act out of anger and harm someone but there needs to be institutionally approved ways for employees to express themselves when they are angry.

Which takes me to the question of what should you do when you are paralyzed and unable to make a change.

How do you move forward and attain what you want professionally and personally?

  1. Decide who you want to become. You are going to need to change as a person in order to change your career and life. What sort of change do you want to make in yourself to have the life you want or the career you want?Changing Your Paralysis To Making a Change
  2. Decide what you want to do over the next 90 days. Major changes may involve longer periods of time than 90 days but certainly there are large chunks you can carve out in 90 days.
  3. Why? Why do you want to engage in this effort? What difference will it make to you and your life to make this change? It is important to connect with the deep reason for doing this by asking yourself, “Why,” to your first three answers. Why does this matter to you? Go deeper.
  4. What can you do (each day, every other day, this week) to move the needle forward in the direction of what you want to attain over the next 90 days?
  5. Start telling people. When I trained to run the New York Marathon, I told people I was going to run New York. They got very excited for me at the beginning and excited for me in the last few weeks before I ran it about what I was doing. Knowing myself as I did, I knew I needed that extra boost at the beginning to get started and at the end and but would need to rely upon myself in the middle.
  6. Get support. It is so much harder to do things like this by yourself than doing it with others. Hire a coach. Join a group of people who also want to achieve something in their lives. Just don’t do it alone.
  7. After one week, review how you did. Most people dread the word “accountability” because it has become weaponized by businesses and government to punish people who make certain mistakes. Instead of accountability, review how you did and ask, “What did I learn from this,” whether you accomplished it or not. Maybe you could have done more. Maybe it was easier than you thought. Maybe you bit off more than you could chew. No matter what outcome you attain, ask yourself what you can do to move the needle forward and advance.Changing Your Paralysis To Making a Change

It starts with the courage to face the truth. You are going to have to expend effort and make change as well as the wisdom to know you need support to do so.

 

© The Big Game Hunter, Inc. Asheville, NC  2017

 

Note: I will be launching an online group in January to help people advance their lives and careers. If you would like information about the group pre-launch and would like to join a new group on Facebook to prepare for January, email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and in the subject line, put the phrase, “Facebook Group.” I will message you when we are ready.

 

Jeff Altman, The Big Game HunterJeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for JobSearchCoachingHQ.com and NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. He is the host of “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” “No BS Job Search Advice,” and “Job Search Radio.”

Are you interested in my coaching you?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

Subscribe to the “No BS Coaching Advice” podcast.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Follow The Big Game Hunter, Inc.

For more No BS Coaching Advice & encouragement, visit my website.

 

 

Stuck: Deciding Between Resignation, Perseverance and Acceptance in Your Career

I worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years before transitioning into career coaching. I did not make many job changes because I did very extremely well during the boom times. It was only during the busts in the economic cycles when clients disappeared (and a lot of my income because firms weren’t hiring) that I changed my professional employers. That included divorcing a business partner, closing a business and joining the first search firm I worked for in 20 years and then the few job changes I made.

As I look back at it, I realize that the people I was recruiting often made a smarter decision than I did. I looked at things purely from the financial side. How different my career and life might have been had I made had I not been resigned to tolerate feeling miserable as a condition of my work and gone out and changed jobs more frequently.

Are you tolerating things in your career?

Is that true of you, too? Are you tolerating things in your career because you have become resigned that this is how it is everywhere?

I was coaching someone not long ago who struggled with their travel schedule. 25% travel became 50% travel and soon after 100% travel with no end in sight. He rarely saw his children, his wife treated him like he was a stranger. “Only three more years until I make Director,” he told me as we plotted his next course of action.

“What happens if it takes four years or five years? What then?”

“It won’t.”

“But what happens if it does?”

Silence.

I sat while wheels started spinning between his ears and his circuits fried, realizing that maybe he would be giving up too much . . . or need to adopt a different strategy for himself.

When I worked in recruiting, I remember being contacted by someone who spent almost 40 years with one of the oil companies. He spent his entire career with this firm starting in a relatively junior role and moving up at a snail’s pace that financially did not keep up with inflation.

“I gave my life to this firm and I am now sitting at a desk with nothing to do and 90 days to find a job.”

Before you jump up and say how foolish he was to trust this firm, every day, you (and I certainly did back in the day) and your employer enter into a bargain. You do what they tell you to do and they will give you a certain amount of money and benefits.

Unfortunately, many job hunters attach certain additional things that the employer does not or no longer agrees to.

  1. If I do a job and work hard I can “get ahead.” Where do you see that in your offer letter? It isn’t there.
  2. Your work will be interesting. Maybe your first assignment or assigned work will be but, after that, who knows? You could be assigned to do work that the last three people have resigned after doing for 6 months. You don’t know. Why? On average, turnover is at 25% or more at many employers. Why? “They were recruited to a better opportunity,” is one explanation. Exactly!
  3. We care. Despite all the pictures of happy people in the benefits brochure and on the website, look around. How many people are smiling let alone looking happy? Try asking this question of your future boss. “Tell me about a time when you defended your people to your boss or your management.” They ask behavioral interview questions of you. Why can’t you ask a simple one like this?

When you think back upon what you were told about the job before you were hired and what it and your employer have become, would you have taken this job today?

On a podcast interview I did recently, the host, Jeff Hyman, started a question by commenting that half of all hiring managers have buyer’s remorse within a year of hiring someone (I’ve heard as much as two thirds). I will tell you from experience that it doesn’t take most job hunters to come to the same conclusion about their manager and the decision they made to join.

It starts with becoming resigned to the fact they are stuck for fear that they look like a job hopper, so they try to persevere and “tough it out” through the adversity and, then, develop acceptance that like every job they have ever had it won’t get better (resignation). A little death in their heart converts them into being excellent cogs in the apparatus.

It is so important to be in an environment that supports you at your best, rather than converts you into more of the same mediocrity they already have . . . and that includes firms you would include as being among the best.

It Starts with Courage

It starts with courage—the courage during job interviews to ask questions as tough as the ones they ask you, instead of being nice docile sheep; authenticity when interviewing instead of being “nice” (To be clear, to me, the opposite of being “nice” is honest). Demonstrate your ability to serve others, how you can be truthful and show care for everyone while being effective for them.

Look around your workplace. Ask yourself, “If knew then what I know now, would I have taken the job?” If your answer is, “No,” it is time to stop being resigned to your situation and make a change.

NOW!

© The Big Game Hunter, Inc. Asheville, NC 2017

It Starts With Courage

With appreciation to Lance Secretan

 

I remember my first day of kindergarten many years ago at PS 90 in The It Starts With CourageBronx, NY. My mother was an immigrant who spoke accented English, taking me to class two blocks from our apartment on The Grand Concourse. She and my teacher walked me to my desk and offered me the loveliest look that I could imagine. My mother told me that she would be back a little later to pick me up and that my teacher would be looking out for me.

After a while, I learned another lesson. The lesson was that if I were to succeed in school, my job was to shit up, do what I was told, regurgitate a bunch of things when I was told to do it . . . OR ELSE I wouldn’t get into a good college.

Some years later, I attended CCNY in Harlem. I attended my classes and lectures but quickly learned that the lesson of college I was being given was, “Shut up. Do what you are told. Regurgitate a bunch of stuff when we tell you OR ELSE,” I won’t get a good job.

And when I found my job in recruiting upon graduation, I learned a similar lesson– “Shut up. Do what you are told. Regurgitate a bunch of It Starts With Couragestuff when we tell you OR ELSE . . . “We’ll fire you! Is it any wonder that we live in times where people seem puzzled when they dedicate themselves to their employer, do their best and eventually are brought into a conference room and laid off. I have listened to many executives and staff alike lament about having done a great job and feeling betrayed.

“I did a great job!”

“My reviews were uniformly exceptional”

I keep hearing my own voice complaining about getting an B in a class when I thought I deserved an A. There was nothing I could say that would get the grade changed but I was seeking approval from an instructor who disagreed with my view of my work.

Yes, we all have bosses and teachers who evaluate our work. As a headhunter, I reported to the clients who paid me (and job hunters who didn’t pay me thought I reported to them), as well as to a business owner who demanded perfection from my work that was never achievable.

But the truth was I forgot the most important person who was part of my org structure.

Me.

You see, I fell prey to all the industrial conditioning I had received growing up wanting me to be “cooperative” or “a team player.” I lost track of myself with the push to be selfish in order to achieve sales goals (actual sales goals and, before that, grades).  I succumbed to the motivation (the external pressure to comply with institutions and systems that were making sausage) of the systems I lived and worked in and lost my inspiration (the internal desire, independent of external pressure for conformity).

I became a high achiever who really didn’t care but did great work. I became someone who kept looking for unique ways to do what I did differently than others yet still meet my performance goals.

I hated it because all I was doing was making “artisanal sausage” and not doing what I really wanted. Maybe that willingness to sacrifice is part of being adult. I just never really found the correct percentage of sacrifice vs. self-satisfaction.

I hope you have.

I was introduced to Lance Secretan and a model he has called, “The CASTLE® Principles

Courage

Authenticity

Service

Truthfulness

Love

Effectiveness.

 

Castle.

 

For a while, I wrestled with the idea of authenticity and truthfulness being redundant terms until I grew to see that authenticity was internal truthfulness or being genuine whereas truthfulness was how I might relate with the world at large.

However, as in the word, “Castle,” It truly does start with courage. It takes courage to face oneself and change.        It’s why I now coach instead of headhunt.

As a headhunter, I found too many instances where my truthfulness was encouraged to be compromised and, thus, my truthfulness disappear. It was hard to watch a large check evaporate into thin air after doing so much work.

I found not caring about the people I represented or my clients. The love was lost in what I did and in the people I was hired to serve.

As a result, my effectiveness started to wane, all because I lacked the courage to change.

 

It started with courage and the desire to live life on my terms according to these principles. I can help you, too.

 

© The Big Game Hunter, Inc. Asheville, NC  2017

 

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunterwhat seems like one hundred years. His work involves executive job search coaching, business life coaching for self-employed people who have a lunatic for a boss and leadership coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio” and “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” both available through iTunes and Stitcher.

Are you interested in coaching from me?  Email me atJeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

Do you have a question you would like me to answer? Pay $25 via PayPal to TheBigGameHunter@gmail.com

JobSearchCoachingHQ.com offers great advice for job hunters—videos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle for $.99 and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.”

 

Stupid Career Mistakes: Not Asking for Help With Your Blind Spots


Follow Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/NoBSCoachingAdvice

Our brilliant ideas can land like lead and sabotage us because we don’t see what we can’t see.

Summary

Today, I want to talk with you about a dumb mistake the way too many people make professionally and, I have to say, personally, as well. The mistake is lack of awareness that you have blind spots and doing nothing about them.

In the workplace, he can show up in the obvious where you have an idea that you think is brilliant and you don't seek any input about it. As a result (and this is 1 of my favorite phrases), you don't know what you don't know and things blow up on you. I had a brilliant example (and I know I'm guilty of this), I know I had a time years ago where I thought I had a great idea for selling consulting services and how to market it to firms in a way that I thought would be a "can't miss" opportunity . . . Except a lot of firms thought that they could miss out on this opportunity.

What I didn't realize what was wrong with the idea. What I could've done differently (this is what I would suggest for you) is seeking input. Talk to people who are more knowledgeable than you and get some advice from them about this brilliant idea of yours. After all, when you think about it, so many problems can be headed off, if only time were taken to seek input to evaluated that you don't say that others pick up on immediately.

That was my mistake. I didn't seek input from others and, as a result,, "my brilliant idea." Later that like lead in the marketplace of ideas or it could have been flat out wrong and that could have been the reason. I didn't understand that and, as a result, the impact was this "brilliant idea" failed.

From the standpoint of what you can do, always ask for advice. Always ask for input. You can say to someone, "I have this idea in this is why think it would work and why it would be effective. I'd like your advice. What do you see will be wrong with this? How can it fail? What could not go right with this idea that would cause it to land like lead and just sink to the bottom?"

You don't know what you don't know and you can see what you are unable to see. Getting extra eyes on the problem can go a long way toward intercepting. Again, that's a point about coaching that makes it so helpful to people. A coach winds up being able to see things that other people can't but you can do this with your wife, husband or partner, a colleague at work, anyone who you think is knowledgeable who can help you see things that you can't.

 

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and business life coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio,” “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.”

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching or interview coaching from me?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

JobSearchCoachingHQ.com offers great advice for job hunters—videos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions.  

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle for $.99 and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.”

Don’t forget to give the show 5 stars and a good review in iTunes

If you want to know how to win more interviews, order “Winning Interviews.” You’ll learn how to win phone interviews, in-person interviews, the best question to ask on any interview and more.

How Do You Avoid Self Sabotage and Find a Job?

 

Self-sabotage is an interesting thing for a job hunter to identify as their issue. Here, I address it head on and offer a strategy I’ve seen work many many times.

Summary

I got a great question today and thought I would use it for my video. The question is, "How do we avoid self sabotage and get a job?"

I think the answer to this question is in two parts. The first one is that someone gave you this psychological label that I think is absolutely useless. Self sabotage--like you are intentionally going into the interview and trying to screw things up or you have adeep-rooted psychological issue is causing you to make these mistakes that are so costly!

It's not necessarily self-sabotage. It may be simply that you don't have a lot of experience interviewing and are not well-prepared and need to improve.

What has happened in modern times is that there are a lot of labels that are thrown around conveniently that traumatize people. I think self-sabotage is one of those labels. It causes people to think the problems are deep-seated when, in fact, solving them is very simple.

After all, the simple solution to messing up on interviews is practice. How many times that you practice for your last interview? When you think of practice and the impact of lack of practice, that's the big issue!

We have all heard of the 10,000 hour rule yet most job hunters have about a half hour MAYBE of experience writing your resume, or interviewing, or answering specific tough interview questions or using LinkedIn or negotiating compensation.

Most job hunters go on an interview and think they can wing it and, of course, screwup, and on the next one, and the next one, and the one after that. Suddenly, they have label! Self-sabotage!

I want to encourage you to get some experience. Work with friends. Join JobSearchCoachingHQ.com and practice answers to the interview questions we have there. You will go a long way toward eliminating being inexperienced, amateurish (I have to say amateurish because professionals practice).

Don't believe me? Look at every athlete that was at the Olympics. Every professional athlete, no matter what sport they are in. All of them are successful and they practice… And you aren't.

So that's the big issue. It's not some deep-seated psychological problem that is causing you to mess up. It's that you don't have experience doing this and your amateurish behavior tells you you don't have to do this.

So wake up. Start practicing. You'll start getting results.

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and business life coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio,” “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.”

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching or interview coaching from me?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

JobSearchCoachingHQ.com offers great advice for job hunters—videos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions.  

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle for $.99 and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.”

Don’t forget to give the show 5 stars and a good review in iTunes

If you want to know how to win more interviews, order “Winning Interviews.” You’ll learn how to win phone interviews, in-person interviews, the best question to ask on any interview and more.

 

Blame

Blame has become a big part of how the world conducts itself. For example, in the United States, a large part of the country spent 8 years blaming Democrats and President Obama for anything that went wrong. Those who were happy with President Obama now place a lot of their attention on the failings of President Trump and decisions he has made and behaviors he has engaged in. Both sides have outsourced their attention to people who have little to do with their day-to-day lives but the result has been that blame Is now part of process review in many organizations.

For example, when reviewing decisions that did not work out, many firms want to meticulously review how a decision was made, step by step, inch by inch, in order to blame someone, rather than review it for how it can be done better. You can tell that blame is the intention when you see firms fire people, reduce bonuses, or pass people up for promotions for having had the courage to approve something that didn’t work out.

As a result, people learn to play it safe and take no risk whatsoever and that affects corporate performance.

After all, if something doesn’t work out, someone must be WRONG! They Must Be Blamed! They Must Be Held Accountable! Accountability becomes he knife of punishment rather than the tool of learning. The person who did this was wrong! They must be punished! An example must be made of them so that no one EVER does something like this again!

Let is all shun them, kick the to the curb, humiliate the person so that no one ever does something that fails again!

I want to pause for a moment because I am sure some of you are starting to think that malfeasance should result in this type of a response and I agree with you. If an organization finds someone embezzling money, stealing someone’s life savings or some other criminal act, by all means blame and legal repercussions should occur.

However, too often organizations are homogenized into safe conduct that results into fear of loss, rather than an ambitious drive for success. How did safety become so important? How did we learn to be so bland and mediocre?

I know parents are a big part of how I learned to go for safety but I also learned risk from my Dad. My parents were immigrants who met in a camp in Siberia during World War II and came to the US with little money and some family in the US. The drive for security took the form of my Dad finding “a good job” so that my parents could find the time to learn a new language, raise a family and bring the rest of my Mom’s surviving family to the US (my father’s family was killed with the exception of one brother who hid his identity and prospered in Poland).

Safe choices became essential under those conditions and understandably. Yet there was a point where my father faced a choice—the family owned business he worked for was about to go out of business because of an accounting mistake. The owner was ready to throw in the towel. My Dad took over and paid off the creditors and grew it in ways that allowed him to be an American success.

Now these were the times when chips were only made from potatoes, not silicon and high tech meant a noisy huge mechanical adding machine.

The bookkeeper who made the mistake was not an embezzler. She made a mistake (in contrast, later in his professional life, he did catch an embezzler, went to her and said so simply, “You are going to pay back every cent you stole from me or today will be your last day of freedom.”).

Today, the first bookkeeper would have been fired for incompetence despite 30 years of effort. Blame would have been assigned, the stories told in the small office would have allowed them to determine exactly who erred and how. No one would have remembered the 30 years of work (and at most companies today, she would never have been allowed to work there for 30 years).

Look at how managers think of employees post hire. The statistics indicate almost two thirds of hiring managers have buyer’s remorse within one year of hiring someone. They regret hiring that person but do nothing to improve how they hire, preferring instead to blame the new hire for what has happened, rather than themselves for the choice and the process failures that resulted in the bad hire.

American cultural stories involve the great risk takers. Today, we point to Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Ellison from the tech world. In the 19th Century, it was the Vanderbilts, Kennedys and Rockefellers who took risks at pulled off success.

Today, unless mistakes are treated with intense scrutiny that trains people early on that mistakes will be punished. We still act with an industrial attitude toward employees tolerating zero defects from them, expecting perfection when that is impossible

We want to blame others for our circumstances, rather than take responsibility for our own choices. We wind up miserable.

Someone once pointed out to me that when we point at someone else there are three fingers pointed back at ourselves. I think many of us need that reminder.

 

 

© The Big Game Hunter, Inc. Asheville, NC  2017

 

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunterwhat seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and business life coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio,” “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.”

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching or interview coaching from me?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

He is the head coach for NoBSCoachingAdvice,com and JobSearchCoachingHQ.com

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

Sometimes, You Don’t Use the Whip | No BS Coaching Advice


Most managers tend to use a whip

Summary

I was reminded recently that sometimes managers have one mode of operating-- they beat their employees into submission. They take the spirit away from them. They punish them unless they are perfect according to their standards. I'm not saying that you should tolerate screw ups. Screw ups need to be corrected. A lot of managers seem to operate in one mode.

I was reminded this week of this behavior in working with a solopreneur that I coach who reminded me of something years ago. I had employee working for me who really wanted to do well. She was a beginner who really want to do well commuting 2 hours each way to our offices from New Jersey. She would make calls at night having a dinner of a slice of pizza that you thrown in the oven, making very little money and wasn't getting the results that she wanted.

I sat her down in my office one day, a few months after she enjoyed. She had been doing this for a few months and was crying. "This is it working! It's awful!" She was really trying and she cared. I sat her down and send her resume going to say to you now, "You are trying too hard. People can hear the desperation in your voice, you don't quite know what you doing it and trying to use incredible effort in order to get things done. It is not working for. What I want you to do is leave a little bit earlier, get home, get some sleep, relax a little bit. PLAY! Have some fun. " She became a great performer for me.

Recently, a solopreneur I have been coaching came to me because business was mediocre, he was in a situation related to sell his firm, sell his lease or handle his lease in some way because he was having financial problems. He was trying to improve his practice but he couldn't get a grip on what to do to change things. We spoke about a number of tactics and eventually implemented a few. Ultimately, the bigger picture was for him to feel good about himself.

No one wants to date someone who seems desperate. No one wants to do business with someone who seems desperate. If you are a manager who is managing people who are trying, but tactics are not working and you need to try new ones.

What triggered this was noticing that on YouTube, there are people who are making a great living by developing content that doesn't teach people anything but it is fun! You know. Fun! People enjoy themselves! They feel better as a result.

You can create stuff. You can create contests. You can create situations where people feel good about themselves, even while you and they are struggling. It doesn't need any money. It can be a 30 minute break while everyone watches YouTube and share his comments. There are millions of possibilities only limited by your imagination.

You need a break, too, just like some of these folks. You can't always be whipping the horse and expecting the horse to respond. Eventually the horse in the race that is being whipped doesn't respond to the whip. The jockey loses them, right? You may be losing some of your employees.

Don't always go to the whip. Fool them. For yourself. Have some fun! Bring the spirit of play into your office again. Stop beating them up. You'll find that if you make a switch, that is not good be instantaneous, if you bring some flexibility to your response, they can't anticipate when you're going to say, "Oh. You screwed up!" Because you're not good be constantly beating them up. You're going to be encouraging them to have fun, remind them that they make a mistake how to correct it without punishing them, using awareness that doesn't indicate any judgment on your part.

You can say something along the lines of, "Hey, I know you want to do a good job but I think you messed up in this case. I know you know better, but you might've tried this."

"Yeah yeah yeah. I got it. As soon as I got off the phone with the customer…" You know what it's like. Sometimes we all make mistakes… Even you!

Instead of always bringing out the whip, try things a little bit easier sometimes.

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for JobSearchCoachingHQ.com and NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. He is the host of “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” “No BS Job Search Advice,” and “Job Search Radio.”

Are you interested in my coaching you?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

Subscribe to the “No BS Coaching Advice” podcast.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Follow The Big Game Hunter, Inc.

For more No BS Coaching Advice & encouragement, visit my website.

No BS Coaching Advice

No BS Coaching Advice Ezine August 15 2017

The August 15, 2017 edition of “No BS Coaching Advice E-zine.”

 

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and business life coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio,” “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.”

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching or interview coaching from me?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

JobSearchCoachingHQ.com offers great advice for job hunters—videos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions.  

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle for $.99 and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.”

 

If you want to know how to win more interviews, order “Winning Interviews.” You’ll learn how to win phone interviews, in-person interviews, the best question to ask on any interview and more.

What Are You Saying????????? | The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast

I had two conversations recently where people just didn’t know how to communicate with someone else. We can do better.

Summary

I talked to a lot of people; I coach a whole bunch of folks. Stuff services from time to time in my life that I just find fascinating. One such thing happened today as I was talking to someone… To people's I think about it. I thought I would share it as an exercise in how to communicate effectively.

For example, the 1st episode involved talking about.

" I been trying to reach this person and they are not responding. I called them twice and left voicemail. They haven't gotten back to me."

I asked, "How old do you think they are?"

"I think they are in their early 30s."

"Why don't you send them a text."

Lo and behold, as we are on the phone, a text response comes in! You get my point?

You have to understand who your audience is and how they like to communicate in terms of how to best reach out to them. You may send them an email; they may hardly check email because in their universe, that is a "Boomer thing." They communicate by text. That was one episode.

The 2nd 1 was one where someone else was trying to express care. It is a married couple of the same gender and they said, "I hope you partners okay." The response was, "it's not my partner. It is my wife." The person who provided the well wishes took umbrage.

"How about if your husband was referred to as your boyfriend. Would you have a problem with that?"

She left a little bit and said, "I get where you're going. Thank you."

I'll simply say that this isn't about being "politically correct," as a lot of people like to dismiss it. It is about respecting other individuals. Whether it is you communicating in a way that someone communicates as opposed to having them adapt to you or just being courteous of other individuals and their relationships, you have to recognize that folks are who they are and if you want to offend, keep doing what you've been doing. If you don't want to get results, keep sending emails to people who don't read email and then complain about it all the time.

Don't you want to just have results? Don't you want to just have a happy life?

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for JobSearchCoachingHQ.com and NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. He is the host of “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” “No BS Job Search Advice,” and “Job Search Radio.”

Are you interested in my coaching you?  Email me at JeffAltman@TheBigGameHunter.us and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

Subscribe to the “No BS Coaching Advice” podcast.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Follow The Big Game Hunter, Inc.

For more No BS Coaching Advice & encouragement, visit my website.

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